Celebrity Big Brother Gifts!!

I don't know about you but I have found myself both fascinated and repulsed by some of the people in the Celebrity Big Brother House. I don't watch the usual Big Brother anymore after the first few series when it turned into a mental asylum. Don't get me wrong I am a sucker for reality shows. I love Strictly Come Dancing, I am a Celebrity Get me out of here, X Factor (once they get past the auditions). And I found myself wondering the other night what would be the perfect gifts to get the current inmates!

My favourites are Latoya, Verne and Terry. I thought originally I would buy Verne a megaphone as nobody ever seems to hear or listen to the poor fella. But then after seeing his attempt to crash through the diary door I think it would have to be a set of driving lessons! I think poor ole Latoya is so adorable she is so naive, did you see when she asked Coolio what spooning was. I would buy her some books on real life as I don't think she will venture out to live bless her. I would give Terry a voucher to the fantastic Fastlane Studios where he could show of his music prowess and record his own Rock Song!

I don't know about you but the sight of Tommy the other evening pumping iron bare chested was enough to make me run out of the room. A definite all over body wax would be on the cards for him! And as for the sight of Tina dragging what must be rubber legs up to her Grand Canyon orifice to feast on her nails she would definitely need a pedicure. Michelle I think needs to eat something and pig out. I would love to see her suddenly lose control and dive into a load of food and binge on chocolate!! Coolio seems to have a split personality, so we may need to look at two gifts for him. One for his bullying side and one for his calmer more entertaining side. I think for his bullying side we will just send him to Brat Camp! And for when he is a little nicer I think he could still do with calming down and he could do with an onsite Massage! I don't think he would let the others near it.

The only gift I can think of for poor ole Ben is a pair of tweezers for taking out all of the splinters from his posterior from all of the time he spends sitting on the fence! Mutya I think needs something to cheer her up as she spends all of her time frowning. And in her words she wants plastic surgery. What gift would you give Ulrika? How about a hint to one of the Daddies (so cruel!) to get somebody in and take the house over for a day and let her put her feet up! Bliss..

Hope they never read this!!! I didn't mean a thing

xx